


Come Hell, High Water

by ilikeshipping



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, KYLO IS SO EMO, Rey wants Ben back, Rey would also like to smooch ben, Rey yearning for a family, Slow Build, Slow Burn, or just wanting to belong, rey accidentally finds holovids that contain family vids of The Solos, rey is so fond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 06:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13184130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikeshipping/pseuds/ilikeshipping
Summary: After Rey shuts the door of the Falcon on a fallen and broken Kylo Ren, she expects their bond to sever because of the death of Supreme Leader Snoke. However it does the opposite and becomes stronger each time they meet.





	1. You can't run from yourself.

Ever since that moment in Snoke’s throne room, Rey had felt like she was waiting. Waiting on the inevitable. Waiting on the war ending, waiting until the day she’d finally give up on Ben. It was a waiting game. 

 

Every time she closed her eyes, she’d see him, clear and solid, just like their future had been. Whether or not it was even their future or not, it still had given her a burst of excitement when his hand touched hers. Pure power and electricity. Their connection was like no other, inexplicably powerful. However, their paths well and truly had crossed and they were on different journeys now. Kylo Ren - on a path of destruction and complete sadness. 

 

She sat awake sometimes wondering what would have happened if she’d just accepted his offer and took his hand. The man had stood before her, pleading, a certain sadness and torment shining in his eyes that she couldn’t ignore. She knew that when he put out a gloved hand that he in fact _wasn’t_ Ben Solo, the boy who had been wronged, but who was instead... Kylo Ren. A cold hearted murderer. Blood of innocent species, races and planets splattered on those awful black gloves. She knew that if she gave her hand it would not be for Ben Solo.

 

She scraped her hair back from her face and sat on her bed. She wouldn’t think of it anymore.

 

A loud ringing in her ears begun and she knew exactly what was happening. The tingle that flushed up her spine sent shivers through her whole body. She could feel the tug into a shared space. The force was strong, thick and silent. She was no longer alone.

 

“What do you want?” She put out into the silence. She didn’t know if he’d even answer her. She didn’t know if he was even there. She stared angrily at the wall.

 

“I think you forget that I do not willingly tug on the bond. I’d rather it not be there at all, Scavenger” His deep voice cut through the silence like a knife and her back bolted up straight. It was still frightening to hear it. She grew angry.

 

“This shouldn’t be happening. The monster who created it is DEAD.” 

 

“Wasn’t it I? That was the monster?” Ren asked, a hint of humour in his voice. Though it was most likely a wicked humour. 

 

She quickly got up and whirled around to look at him. 

 

“ _You_ had a chance you know!” She yelled out, fists balled at her sides. 

 

“I gave you a chance, _Ben._ I opened myself to you. I TRUSTED YOU.” She cried. Hot, bitter tears fell from her eyes as she drank him in. 

 

He stood tall, his hands behind his back. So utterly calm compared to her. So disgustingly calm. She grew angrier with the prolonged silence.  

 

“Answer me!” She screamed, angrily wiping the tears from her cheeks.

 

“You are a fool” He replied. 

 

“Yes. Yes I am.” She sobbed into her hand.

 

She sucked in a breath and wiped her face again. She looked up to see him watching her, no sign of emotion in his face. She let herself stand still and feel their connection for a moment. 

 

It had grew stronger since their last encounter on Crait, when she had shut him out. No matter how hard she tried not to pry, she could still feel the longing in Ben Solo, the light was still there, although she could tell he was giving his all to suppress it. 

 

“You are still conflicted, Ben. You don’t have to do this.” 

 

“I don’t have a choice.” 

 

“Everyone has a damn choice. It doesn’t matter whether it is a hard one to make or not. You still have it.” She stepped closer to him, searching for something in his eyes. 

 

“Ben, your mother misses you terribly.” She finally said.

 

“My name is not Ben. It is Kylo Ren, you worthless Scavenger.”

 

She felt an immense pang of hurt. She searched his eyes again and took one step closer. They were a step apart, electricity flying through the bond between them. The invisible force tether that connected them was being pulled back and forth. 

 

“You are Ben Solo. You will _always_  be Ben Solo. You can’t run from him Kylo. He will tear you apart to make his way back to the light.” 

 

“He will kill you if he has to.” She whispered to him. For a short moment, he was affected by that statement. But it was lost again as he began to speak.

 

“You know nothing of me. You think you know all because you have suffered. But not to the lengths I have.” 

 

“Ben Solo is gone” He said with a calm, dark tone. 

 

Rey brought her hand up to his stoic face, she could see the tears building up in his eyes, his innocence still shimmered through. She cupped his face gently and was surprised he didn’t brush her away.

 

“No one is ever really gone.” Rey said. His face immediately disappeared and the tension that the force had brought to her surroundings fizzled away, leaving Rey standing on her own, with her hand in the air. She lowered her hand and climbed into bed. Trying to shake the feeling of Ren’s warm face in her hand.

 

She was his last hope and she had decided that she wouldn’t give up on him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The force bond tugged at her lower back again, the tingling sensation rushing back to her body. 

 _Not again_ she thought. She was sat with Leia as she looked through old resistance information Holograms. She instantly felt his presence as he arrived. This time it felt slightly different.

 

She turned her head to give him a quick glance. He stood tall in the corner of General Leia’s office, staring at her with a calm darkness. She shivered. 

 

“Rey are you okay?” Leia asked, a worried expression covering her face.

 

Rey startled from looking at Kylo. She snapped her head back to Leia. 

 

“Yeah, just thinking is all, General.” 

 

“Oh rey, stop calling me general. You know i hate people using my rank. It’s just Leia.” the older woman smiled and tapped Rey’s hand. 

 

“Rey, your shaking. What is it?” Leia looked into Rey’s fearful eyes and somehow knew exactly what was going on. Leia turned around slowly and stared intently at the spot Kylo stood at. She couldn’t see him, but she was so strong with the force, she knew her son stood before her. 

 

“I’ll leave you two alone.” She said and soon after left Rey alone with him.

 

“I really thought by now this would have stopped happening” Rey said whilst tidying up the holos lying on the table. She had her back to him once again. 

 

“Your emotions travel along the bond so easily. That must be what is connecting us.” Kylo spoke quietly, calmly. She always wondered why he was so calm around her, after all he was such an angry soul, it wasn’t like him.

 

“I try not to. Sometimes things are just overwhelming. I’m still not used to all of... _this_ ” Rey almost whispered the last part.

 

“You need to shield your mind, Scavenger. I feel your pain as I sleep. I’d rather not have that weighing on my shoulders.” Kylo said. She couldn’t tell whether he was angry or not, he had his mask on and his voice was distorted.  

 

Rey turned to look at him again. Startled by how ominous the mask looked compared to the bright surroundings of the room. 

 

“Can you take that thing off?” She asked.

 

“It’s so awful to look at.” 

 

He brought his hands up to his mask, pressed the release button and slid it off of his head. His hair fell down to rest on his shoulders. He pushed back the stray strands dangling over his face with his gloved hand. His face was irritatingly beautiful. It was angular and sharp, it had ‘warrior’ written all over it. Though, his eyes still held an unquestionable warmth. An innocence Rey could never cease to think about. This was the look of a lost boy who had been told what to do for years. He put blind trust into Snoke because his parents sent him away and his own uncle tried to kill him in his sleep. No wonder he was so reluctant to jump to her tune. 

 

“Are you going to stare until this stops? If so, I’d rather put my mask back on. I have places to be after this.” Kylo offered, a small glint in his eye. 

 

Rey completely ignored him and changed the subject. 

 

“Your mother was here. She sensed your presence. Well, I think she did.” 

 

Kylo raised a brow, nothing else giving away any sense of emotion. One quirk of a brow. 

 

“Where are you? I still cannot see your surroundings.” He asked, looking around as if he was trying to figure how to see where she was.

 

“I wouldn’t ever tell you.” Rey snapped.

 

“You know I can always take what I want.” Kylo pressed, walking further toward her. It was a hollow statement, he had tried before and she had shut him out completely. They met in the middle of the room, inches apart. His tall frame towering over her. 

 

She eyed him curiously and decided on what she’d say.

 

“No you can’t. Master Luke has trained me well enou-“

 

“Skywalker failed a whole generation of Jedi with his broken mind. He failed you too, by leaving you behind. You underestimate my power, I will figure out where you are and I will kill you for what you have done.” Kylo said angrily, his eyes burning into her head. 

 

“What is it that I have done, Ren?” 

 

“What in the name of force have I done that is worse than the atrocities you have committed?” She yelled at him again, stepping even closer. She knew she wouldn’t intimidate him but she wanted the words to sting. 

 

“You killed my supreme leader and abandoned me on his ship, to save your usueless resistance friends. You declined an offer that would have changed your life!” He shouted back, this time looking more frustrated with her.

 

“No, kylo,” Rey seethed. 

 

“ _You_ killed Snoke.” 

 

He squeezed his eyes shut as if he didn’t want to hear what she said. 

 

He slowly opened his eyes, tears once again brimming those dark irises. He took a step closer to her and bent down, he moved his face closer and closer to hers. Her breathing hitched all at once and she stood so very still, as if not to touch him and to set him off. 

 

He brushed the side of her face with his own, she could feel his warm breath tickling her ear. 

 

“That’s why I must end this all,” he whispered, almost seductively. 

 

“- and end you.” 

 

With those last words, he was gone. And Rey was left alone to feel the aftershock of the force connection, rippling through her body. She could still feel the touch of his face and hear his faint whispers. She let out a wracked sob and crumpled to the floor.

 


	3. No childhood, no memories.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finds some personal belongings of Leia.

Rey slowly collected the Holovids from General Leia's desk and placed them gently into a small storage box. Rey had really appreciated the lessons Leia was providing her with, as she didn't know how to read or write. Rey had grown up in a place where reading and writing weren't of any use. All she needed were her good gut instincts, her eyesight and to be healthy enough to survive in the desert heat.

She had kept busy since the day her parents had left her on Jakku. Unkar Plutt had seen to it that she worked hard every single day to earn portions. Rey had always struggled, she was never ever in a good place, unless she had scavenged something of great worth from an old Battle Ship or a fallen droid. Thinking about how long she went without seeing or speaking to people made her head hurt. She had gotten so used to seeing and being with people every day, that she was now afraid of reverting back to being alone. 

She had been able to see and talk to Finn for a whole year. A year on whatever planet the resistance were hiding out on felt like minutes in Jakku. Finn and Poe had become her family and she treasured them with all of her heart. She had become very fond of Poe, even though they had only been friends for a short time. He had twinkly eyes and an ambitious grin. It was very infectious, she often found herself grinning back at him as he ran with BB-8 to his mandatory pilot training. She wished she could do so much more for the Resistance, she wished she was good with computers or new technical things that came with being part of an operation, but she just didn't have the experience. Finn had at least worked and been apart of something, despite it being the first order. He was trained and intelligent, which she felt she was not. 

After tidying up all of the tapes, she lifted the small box and opened the cupboard underneath Leia's makeshift desk. As she opened it another small box tumbled out. She bent down to pick it up, eyeing it curiously. There were initials on the side of the box that she couldn't really make out distinctively. So, she put the holovideo box back and placed the new box on the desk. She sat back down and opened the box slowly, taking a second to glance at the door to make sure the General wasn't going to bust back in and see her snooping. She peeked inside and saw an older version of a holovid, curiosity took over and she grabbed it out of the box and placed it on the machine for playback. 

A small beeping noise sounded and the video flickered to life before her. There lay a much younger Leia in a bed, holding a small baby. Rey smiled sweetly as she saw the kid and how youthful Leia was. She was cradling the baby in her arms and was murmuring something to it. Rey couldn't hear very well but gathered that it must have been a lullaby or song of some sort. Suddenly a young man came into the picture and sat down on the bed beside her and cuddled both the baby and Leia. Rey had to squint slightly as the quality wasn't all that good, but came to realise that the young man was Han Solo. The man that she had gotten very little time with, was once again before her on the screen.

The clip finally cut to what appeared to be another video of a toddler. Rey giggled at Leia's stern face to whoever was holding the camera. The small child was standing in-between her legs as she held its arms, it looked as if it was about to take its first steps. Rey's smile shone brightly as she watched this precious baby take its first steps until a nagging thought began to darken her expression. She paused the tape.

If this was Han and Leia, the child must be... Ben Solo. These were home videos of Ben as a child. Rey immediately got chills, thinking of who exactly this kid would turn out to be. She felt terrible for snooping through Leia's things, never mind watching what wasn't hers to watch. 

She anxiously skipped through some of the tape to see what else was on it, she kept telling herself that it was just to see if there was anything to learn from on here. The tape eventually stopped on its own and started playing again. This time, a small, skinny boy stood before the camera, he seemed happy, but extremely nervous. 

"You'll be okay. Just take a deep breath and let go." a mans voice came through the speaker.

Just after, the young boy brought up a lightsaber and turned it own. It was the brightest shade of blue and it filled the video with immense light. 

"Well done Ben, my little baby. You did it!" a younger Leia shouted with glee. 

Rey skipped the tape again, going through trying to find something else but sadly came to the end of the tape. It wasn't a video but instead was a picture.

Rey zoomed in on the picture to see a teenaged Ben Solo cuddling his mother on a sandy beach. He looked genuinely happy and so did Leia. Rey assumed that Han had taken the precious photo and that is why he wasn't in it. Ben looked radiant, he looked innocent, untainted. What unsettled Rey was the fact that she knew by this point Snoke was poisoning Ben Solo's mind and whispering dark things to him. Persuading him to turn on his family and on the light side of the force. She found herself staring at the picture even more, her eyes burning into it, admiring how the boy looked when he smiled. It was odd, so very odd to see him like that. Kylo Ren, the man that slaughtered thousands without any hesitation under the awful murderer Snoke. That sudden change in him confused her to no end. 

"He seemed so happy." A voice broke Rey's inner monologue and she clambered up from the chair suddenly. She turned and saw Leia, standing with her hands crossed over her walking stick. She looked homesick, she looked as if she was missing something. Rey swallowed.

"I'm so sorry General, curiosity got the better of me. I should have known this was something private." Rey apologised. 

"I hope you can forgive me." She gulped again.

"Nonsense, Rey." Leia laughed.

"I cannot blame that you seek to watch and witness something like this. I gather it is something you did not get to experience as a child. Growing up with two present parents?"

Rey suddenly felt very ill. She looked to the ground, knowing this is why she was so morbidly curious. 

"I-I guess so, yeah" She said quietly. Leia walked to her slowly and then sat in the chair beside her.

"Its funny you found these, I haven't watched them in years. It hurts too much"

Rey just nodded, not really knowing what to say.

"It just reminds me further of how I did wrong by my son and reminds me that I've lost him forever." She said sadly, looking at the frozen picture on the screen longingly. 

"He was a good kid. He really was. He was quiet around us most of the time, but when he talked, he'd say the most marvellous things. He was so very smart, he knew everything about everything at a young age. He was always reading books and studying, so very talented from the get go. When he turned 13, I knew there was a certain darkness in him, I knew he was strong with the force but not as strong as I was beginning to find out. I knew however, that he was destined for greatness, but there was an unsettling in the force and I could feel it from him. He was a ticking time bomb, it was just a matter of when. Han and I couldn't do much and when Luke asked to train him in the ways of the Jedi, I thought it would be good for him." Leia paused and thought for a moment.

"It was my biggest mistake, sending him away. If I had known I wouldn't have ever got him back, I wouldn't have done it. I feel totally responsible."

Rey shook her head violently.

"No - no, Ben's decision was his own, it was not your fault. It could never be your fault." Rey said, trying to assure Leia.

"I wish I could have helped him make the right one." She said sadly, turning the video off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading you guys, I hope you are enjoying. This was just kind of a filler chapter, building for whats to come. Leave me some comments if you want me to improve on anything and feel free to give it a kudos if you liked it. I love you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god, guys!! I was so scared to post this. I'm by no means a good writer at all and there are probably a lot of grammatical errors... BUT MAN I LOVE THIS SHIP!!!!! 
> 
> Please, if you enjoy, give me some constructive criticism! Its so welcome, I want to get better at writing! Also please if you enjoy, leave a kudos! I love you all!


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